On Money
My stance
I like being seen in my humanity, and meeting others in theirs. I like being in integrity, authentic and transparent - especially about what I can and cannot do and what I'm still learning. I like doing my work 'well' - investing the time and resources into it that it needs, within my capacities. And I like being honest about those capacities, and operating within them. I like working in spaces and with people who need my work.
I notice that a lot of the above becomes less possible when I demand money (also known as having a price). I quickly am dehumanised and dehumanise myself: I become a 'professional'. And as a professional, there's only so much authenticity, honesty and transparency that you can bring to the table. A price that's fair to me (for I'd rather not exploit myself) would also mean that those I want to work with cannot afford it. A price that's fair to me would mean that it would be cut short due to budget constraints and wanting to save money. A price means leaving "what is needed?" territory and entering "how can we cut this down to meet our budget?".
None of that makes sense to me. I've spent a lot of time thinking, feeling, exploring how to approach things differently. In the past this was driven by need: I was often in the situation of not being able to afford things like workshops or healing work. Thankfully I had the relationships, networks and connections to bring me to places where I didn't need to pay a fixed price to access what I needed. I want to pay that forward.
And so, there is no price for my work - not even a sliding scale. Instead you're invited to sense into what makes sense to you - what feels good and doable. That doesn't mean I would not enjoy money in return for my work - I too live in capitalism and I too need to pay for things. It just means that I'd like to offer you the choice about what is truly doable for you.
I think most of us have some deep rooted beliefs about money. It makes us squeamish to talk about. I'd like to gently, carefully, disrupt that a bit :)
I notice that a lot of the above becomes less possible when I demand money (also known as having a price). I quickly am dehumanised and dehumanise myself: I become a 'professional'. And as a professional, there's only so much authenticity, honesty and transparency that you can bring to the table. A price that's fair to me (for I'd rather not exploit myself) would also mean that those I want to work with cannot afford it. A price that's fair to me would mean that it would be cut short due to budget constraints and wanting to save money. A price means leaving "what is needed?" territory and entering "how can we cut this down to meet our budget?".
None of that makes sense to me. I've spent a lot of time thinking, feeling, exploring how to approach things differently. In the past this was driven by need: I was often in the situation of not being able to afford things like workshops or healing work. Thankfully I had the relationships, networks and connections to bring me to places where I didn't need to pay a fixed price to access what I needed. I want to pay that forward.
And so, there is no price for my work - not even a sliding scale. Instead you're invited to sense into what makes sense to you - what feels good and doable. That doesn't mean I would not enjoy money in return for my work - I too live in capitalism and I too need to pay for things. It just means that I'd like to offer you the choice about what is truly doable for you.
I think most of us have some deep rooted beliefs about money. It makes us squeamish to talk about. I'd like to gently, carefully, disrupt that a bit :)
But what should I give you?
There are different approaches and processes to determine what you'd like to give me. I'm going to elaborate on two of them here: self-reflection and a bidding round.
SElf reflection
Especially if you are working with me as an inidvidual, or outside of a continuous group context this might be helpful. If you notice that any of this is at all overwhelming - please get support. There might be someone in your relationship network you can talk to, or you can contact me.
Take a moment to connect with how money feels to you. What's your current situation? What's your bank balance like? What's your income like in relationship to your expenditure?
Is there tightness? Spaciousness? Overwhelm? Joy? Shame?
Go as deeply into that as feels ok to do in this moment.
Take another moment to image that money weren't an issue in your life. You're comfortable. You have everything you need.
How much would you enjoy giving? What does that feels like?
Pendulate between the two - the reality and the fantasy.
Maybe now you have a clearer idea of what you might want to give :)
Take a moment to connect with how money feels to you. What's your current situation? What's your bank balance like? What's your income like in relationship to your expenditure?
Is there tightness? Spaciousness? Overwhelm? Joy? Shame?
Go as deeply into that as feels ok to do in this moment.
Take another moment to image that money weren't an issue in your life. You're comfortable. You have everything you need.
How much would you enjoy giving? What does that feels like?
Pendulate between the two - the reality and the fantasy.
Maybe now you have a clearer idea of what you might want to give :)
Bidding round
A bidding round is a way to raise money during workshops, grief spaces etc. I have encountered it in different scenes and my guess would be that the principle itself is much older than any of them, namely: we put money on the table and see whether it's enough.
Sounds easy, and I'm sure it once was.
Today talking or thinking about money is often experienced as uncomfortable, heavy... there might be some shame too. Regardless of how much money we truly have.
And so a bidding round will often have multiple rounds, to support self-reflection and giving that which truly feels good. More on the process here.
Sounds easy, and I'm sure it once was.
Today talking or thinking about money is often experienced as uncomfortable, heavy... there might be some shame too. Regardless of how much money we truly have.
And so a bidding round will often have multiple rounds, to support self-reflection and giving that which truly feels good. More on the process here.
Transparency
I - like many of us - live in capitalism, where money give you access to certain things.
For some things (like housing, food) I currently have no viable alternative than to obtain them by paying money for them. I am dependent on being able to spend money.
Sometimes it's helpful to know what the person's financial situation is, what they need, to be able to figure out what to give them. In case that's the case for you, here are some numbers:
Approx 900€ a month give me a stable base (housing, food, phone bills...)
Approx 1500€ a month give me the possibility to be better resourced through having external support
Approx 2000€ a month give me the possibility to have a real holiday (not just stay at home and not work), as well as supporting those in my direct network financially as needed. It gives me stability and an ultimate YES to staying aligned with capacity and joy.
For some things (like housing, food) I currently have no viable alternative than to obtain them by paying money for them. I am dependent on being able to spend money.
Sometimes it's helpful to know what the person's financial situation is, what they need, to be able to figure out what to give them. In case that's the case for you, here are some numbers:
Approx 900€ a month give me a stable base (housing, food, phone bills...)
Approx 1500€ a month give me the possibility to be better resourced through having external support
Approx 2000€ a month give me the possibility to have a real holiday (not just stay at home and not work), as well as supporting those in my direct network financially as needed. It gives me stability and an ultimate YES to staying aligned with capacity and joy.